Twin Menace
by TheCentauress
Summary: AltUni - From the beginning, there's a little bit of a twist: When the Tendos open the door, there are a pair of cute redheads wrestling there. This is a story I conceived a few years ago; recently found, the dust blown off, the dings popped out an


RANMA ½: TWIN MENACE -1a  
  
Soun Tendo sat weeping gently as he read the postcard:  
'Tendo, Returning from China. Bringing Ranma. Saotome.'  
  
"Oh, what a happy day," he declaired softly, flipping  
over the card to look at the picture of two geisha printed on the  
reverse. "Our families will be joined." He quickly assembled his  
daughters to tell them the news.  
  
Much as it is in myriad other universes, Soun's announcement  
was received in a less than positive manner.  
  
"Ugh, boys." "I hope he's older; younger boys bore me."  
"Is he cute?"  
  
Well, at least in the same manner as the one we know. Ahem.  
Let us skip ahead about an hour, so we get to the entrance of the Saotomes.  
  
/tap, tap/ "There he is!" yelped Nabiki, jumping up to run to  
the door. Soun was close behind her, with the other two following  
thereafter at a more sedate pace. As each arrived at the door, they  
paused upon hearing a soprano voice seeming to argue with itself.  
  
"Yo, 'yaji, let me go! No, boy, it's giri; I've told you that  
already. I don't care! I wanna try to get rid of this curse! Think I  
don't want that myself, Son? The springs won't work; the most you'll get  
will leave you like me. Just try to make this work and I promise you that  
I'll help you find the cure. Alright, Pops; I'll try."  
  
Intruged, Akane was the first to open the door. Upon the doorstep  
were a pair of red-haired, blue-eyed girls, identical exept for their  
clothing. One was wearing a snow-white cotton kimono with a wine-colored  
sash; she was octopus-gripping the other, who was dressed in a blood-red  
Chinese blouse and black track pants. Both were shod in black tabi shoes,  
rather than the getta, tennis shoes or pumps that one would expect. They  
both looked up at the expectant faces and said in perfect unison, "Hello.  
I'm/He's Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this." Then, as if connected by  
strings, their heads lowered in unison.  
  
------------------------------  
  
As Soun lay upon the futon in the family room, the strange twins  
kneeled at his side. They were flanked by Akane and Nabiki, who were  
arguing over the quiet pairs' bowed heads.  
  
"Face it, sis," the older girl grumbled. "This is a real fine  
mess."  
  
The youngest sister bristled. "But Daddy said that Ranma was a boy."  
  
Nabiki gripped Ranma's breast and began to knead it slowly. "Does...  
This...," she grumbled, matching her words to her hand's motions, "Look...  
Like... A... Boy?"  
  
Ranma's voice stilled all motion. It was low, quiet and quite  
subserviant. In one sentence, she froze everyone. She said, while  
kneeling like a geisha:  
  
"Would Mistress like for this unworthy one to entertain her?"  
  
Her twin's only addition was, "She is quite skilled. Care to try?"  
A knowing smirk creased her features. "Art is art. Ranma knows quite a few  
of them." The absolute silence was broken by a single drop of sweat hitting  
the floor.  
  
------------------------------  
  
Akane opened the door of the dojo to lead the two redheads into the  
interior. "This is our dojo," she stated with pride. "Tell me what you think."  
  
Ranma smiled gently. "I like it," she responded. "It feels like home."  
  
Her twin snorted. "Ha, shows what you know, Boy."  
  
Akane stared askance at the rude girl. "Why do you say that...." She  
trailed off. "By the way, what's your name?"  
  
"Genna," the kimonoed girl responded. "I said that because it has no  
leaping room. One of our jumps would smash us against the celing beams, you  
silly girl."  
  
Ranma sighed into her palm. "That," she hissed, "was the rude way to  
say it." Her free hand smacked Genna's head. "You ain't a guy, you know."  
  
The formally-dressed girl growled deep in her throat. "That's because  
of you, you baka," she hissed in a venomous whisper. "I woulda' hit the pole."  
  
Ranma grinned at her twin. "Not likely," she chortled. "You were a real  
butterball, Pops." Her blue eyes scanned her twin's body. "Where _do_ you hide  
all that weight, tubby?" she teased.  
  
"Only a _man_ is allowed to call me 'tubby'," her sister countered icily.  
"Not a little girl."  
  
As the siblings began to glare at each other, Akane asked them, "Um,  
what's this about?"  
  
The pair responded without breaking eye contact with each other. "Later,"  
they chorused. Then, suddenly, the pair went into motion.  
  
The youngest Tendo daughter watched the potentially lethal ballet in awe.  
The nearly identical fighters used similar techniques; Genna relied upon complex,  
high-skill adaptations, Ranma using speed and flexibility. To her eyes, the combat  
seemed to be approaching a draw; then, inexplicably, Genna appeared to be knocked  
out by a clumsily-executed rising side kick.  
  
"How'd you do that, Ranma?" she asked, trotting over. There was no response  
from the standing redhead. Confused, she walked around to face her new friend. As  
she saw the scene, her face contorted in a mixture of both mirth and awe.  
  
Other than her eyes, which were glaring at the supine Genna, Ranma's entire  
body was frozen stiff by the bamboo needles her twin had thrown as she fell; each tiny  
dart was perfectly placed in a classic 'paralasys' point. Nothing would help her except  
for a long wait. Akane couldn't help but fight the laughter bubbling up inside.  
  
"Mm gnna bttt hrr smmdaa," the frozen twin growled through her paralasys, "wtt  
nn see."  
  
* * *  
  
After Genna had woke from her forced nap, she had released her hapless twin and  
wandered back into the house, muttering about 'wanting a drink.' Ranma and Akane sat  
down, just outside the dojo and chatted.  
  
"Why," Akane finally asked the redhead, "would you and your sister be travling  
without a parent?"  
  
Ranma snickered. "Genna _is_ my parent." At Akane's stunned look, she  
continued. "Her true form was lost when she was..." She trailed off as she noticed the  
other girl's confusion. "Never mind," she muttered.  
  
Akane sighed. "You can tell me," she stated calmly. "After what you two  
demonstrated, I'd believe you if you told me that you two were both under a magic spell."  
  
Ranma blinked. "Do you really mean that?" she begged.  
  
"Yes," the dark haired girl responded. Tilting her head, she added, "Why do  
you ask that?"  
  
Ranma smiled gently. "Well, you see,..." she began.  
  
*****  
  
The Tendo patriarch was sipping his hot saki when the kimonoed girl stomped into  
the room, threw herself down on the far side of the table and grabbed the liquor bottle.  
Without a word, the redhead lifted it to her lips and drained it in a gulp.  
  
Soun's spit-take sprayed the near-scalding liquid into the girl's face.  
  
The resultant female panda sighed and held up a wooden sign. WATCH WHERE  
YOU AIM, PLEASE. The giant bear then stood and walked toward the kitchen. Soun heard  
Kasumi scream, then scream again. The redhead returned, sat back down and held out a  
new bottle.  
  
The mustachioed man took the bottle and drained it. A sense of recognition lit his  
eyes. "Genma?" he asked simply. At her nod, he sighed, heavily. "What happened?"  
  
End of Chapter 1  
Author's babble:  
Ehhyup, here we go. A little short, granted, yet it sets the stage quite well.  
  
First, don't expect the usual Ranma blather of 'I dont hit girls.' Two solid  
months with a now-female idiot like Genma/Genna/G-you-baka-panda, anyone would lose _that_  
foible. The poor kid has limits, ya know.  
  
Second, with his own masculinity gone, Genma is now just a tad - microscopicly  
small, I admit - more relaxed about 'women are weak.'   
  
Next episode: On the thin edge of revenge... Or, The arrival of the Sword!  
Hi, I'm your adopted daughter! 


End file.
